Sunday, February 17, 2013

Have a Tough Skin

I recently moved from a relatively large city to the hometown of my girlfriend. Nothing has been more of a wake up call on the different views of interracial dating than this. As I've mentioned before, but will mention again, I am of mixed Asian and white race and my girlfriend is completely white. In the city we lived in it wasn't too crazy. There were white and black mixed couples a few Indian and white or hispanic and white couples, but the vast majority were of the same race. It was never anything too special or noticeable, and I usually got more looks from Asians that were seemingly judgmental than I did anyone else. The bottom line was, in the city we lived in it was never really made out to be a big deal. Everyone kind of just minded their own business and went their own way.

Then we moved to my girlfriend's town.

This town is incredibly small, lots of farm country, and the people who live here have mostly lived here for generations. The make up of the town is, no exaggeration, probably around over 98% white. There was no other Asian family in the town until one moved in and opened up a Chinese takeout restaurant. Trying to break stereotypes right? 

Anyway, so we moved there. It was fine at first. I hated having to drive an hour to get to any real grocery store, but we made it work. Her family is all incredibly nice so I never really thought anything of it. Then it happened. I was walking into a grocery store in her small town when someone randomly yelled a racial slur at me. I was dumbfounded. Was I mistakenly in a time machine to the deep south? What did I do to deserve this? That was just the beginning. Later we were holding hands in line at another store to which a random old lady said, “... what you guys are doing is disgusting. Stick to your own kind”. After I picked my jaw up from the floor I think we both realized we had to move. I'm not saying everyone in the town was a closed minded racist, but there were more here than I had ever experienced in my life.

So we just got done moving today. We moved back to an area near where I'm from this time where the people aren't quite as bad. It's a start, but the moral of the story is you need to have a tough skin in the real world of interracial dating. Not everyone is as accepting and open minded as they should be, but love is what comes first. Make yourself and your partner happy. Meeting people online who like what you like is the newest most popular way to meet your partner, and with interracial love it can be just that much easier.

                                                                          By Mark

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