Having discussed about how to deal with criticisms from your environment in previous post, our next focus is on your family and friends. While some families do not see anything wrong with interracial dating, others feel it’s a taboo and should never be encouraged. For those with friends and families who do not support it, they tend to carry this burden for several years while praying and hoping that the views of their family will one day change. Well, you could be the catalyst to fuel that change if you handle criticisms from them properly.
Criticism from Your Family and Friends
Criticism from strangers is quite easy to handle because you have never met them before and therefore owe them no explanation whatsoever on what you choose to do with your life. You could either decide to walkout on them or educate them. On the other hand, criticisms from friends and family can be very hurtful especially when it comes from a family member you have high regards for. In worst cases, they completely ostracize you making you lose that sense of belonging all in an effort to ensure you abandon that special person you found love with.
If you are being faced with a situation as this, the first morale booster you need is calmness. Yeah! You need to be as calm as possible. If you are someone who naturally has high temper, this is where you need discipline as your temper will only make things worse.
Now that you have managed to instill calmness into your mentality, the next thing to do is to start addressing the situation carefully. First of all, let them know that your decision doesn’t and wouldn’t have any form of impact on them. Don’t even think of using the “mind your business” or “it’s my life” approach with your family as it’ll only breed contempt and bring more criticisms your way. You have to let them feel your genuine interest in considering their point of view while also fueling yours. Let them know that marriage shouldn’t be about racial discrimination but about love and happiness. There are several instances where people of the same race and even from the same community are unable to get along no matter how hard they try. Love is always not about finding someone who lives close by; it’s about the bond you create with whoever you find, the understanding that ensues between both parties, and the willingness to walk a thousand miles for such person.
When you make your family understand all these – not as if they didn’t before – but hearing it from you with a bleeding heart, they’ll surely be obliged to have a rethink. Of course in a situation as this, you shouldn’t expect every member of your family to just accept your pleas. Don‘t be surprised, even after rethinking, some will still stand their ground. Well, that’s beyond you for now, just focus on strengthening the new belief you have instilled in those that are now in support, and probably they’ll find a way to win the hearts of others.
If after all your efforts and after a few years one or more of your family members are still against your belief even after seeing the happiness in your home, just push the thoughts about them aside and conclude in your mind that they don’t want to see you happy. It most likely has nothing to do with interracial dating!
Hopefully, you have found the courage to handle criticisms from your family after reading this article. The main goal of every relationship is happiness and once you find that, nothing else should really matter much.