Thursday, July 19, 2018

Advice for the “Parent-Rejected” biracial Relationship



It can be hard for a person to know that his or her parents may not approve of their relationship just because their partner is of a different ethnicity or race. We all love our parents and want them to be around on our special day, whether we see eye-to-eye on things or not. But, it can prove to be a difficult task especially if they are conservative and don’t wish to see us marry or even be in a biracial relationship with someone from another race or ethnicity.

Overcoming this situation can be difficult but it is not impossible. Couples need to put in a united effort and deal patiently with family members, and even friends. Hopefully one day they will start seeing the love and relationship you both have for each other and will accept your partner as they are.

1. DON’T SPRING THE RELATIONSHIP ON THEM

You probably know your family’s behavior and habits the best. If you have observed that they are open to biracial relationships then consider yourself lucky because you most probably have nothing to worry about. But, if you know that they are going to be negative towards your relationship then its best to have a sit-down conversation. This will help them understand that you care about them and want them and your partner to get along. 

2. YOUR PARTNER COMES FIRST

Your parents and your family can disapprove of the relationship all they want. But that doesn’t give them permission to talk low to your partner, be it in front of them or behind their back. Stand by your partner, protect them and respectfully tell your family to stop their comments. 

3. TALK ABOUT IT

If you feel that your family disapproves of your relationship and that it is causing distance and problems among yourselves then talk to them about it. Try to know why they feel the way they do and ask them what it is that you could do to help change their opinion on the matter.

4, DON’T ASSUME

If your family cancels dinner with you and your girlfriend or boyfriend at the last moment or you see two family members whisper and giggle, don’t assume the worst. Give them benefit of doubt. Most probably they had a valid reason for canceling, and they could have been talking about anything! Continuously thinking what other people may be thinking about you and your partner can be tiring and is extremely unhealthy.

5. BOUNDARIES

Just because you are in a biracial relationship doesn’t mean that your friends get to make jokes about your partner’s culture. Friends and even family often don’t understand that such comments can be extremely hurtful to the person. Politely stop them from making such comments, and when you get the chance, educate them about your partner’s culture and let them know why it could be hurtful towards them.

Being in an biracial relationship can be particularly hard if our parents don’t approve of it. Your parents coming from a different generation is often a big contributor. It is best to calmly deal with your parents and take small steps. Eventually, they will see how happy you make each other and will learn to accept and appreciate your love and respect for each other.

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