Monday, April 11, 2016

Why do the 5 Love Languages Matter Most in Mixed Race Dating?

Dr. Gary Chapman’s book, The Five Love Languages, has been known as the most vital tool for successful relationship for over ten years. Couples that undergo marriage counseling are likely to learn about this concept of catering to the specific needs of your partner however those that do not take this path may be missing out on this crucial information. The concept of love languages is more than just another self-help mumbo-jumbo. It is used to help identify the needs and wants of each individual in a relationship and teach the other person how to cater to them specifically. When it comes to mixed race dating, there are going to be all sorts of obstacles which your relationship will face. Implementing the love languages helps minimize these obstacles and helps you better understand your partner and their needs in terms of both cultural differences and everyday struggles.

What Are the Five Love Languages?

In a nutshell, the five love languages are the five things a partner can do for us that make us happy. Each person feels love in a different way. Our default is to treat someone else the way we expect to be treated even if this does not cater to their love language. When you read the book or even access the website you will find a breakdown of how to identify your love language and what it means. The five love languages are as follows:

Acts of Service: Feeling appreciated by small things done for you by a partner.
Quality time: Feeling love by spending devoted quality time with your partner.
Physical touch: Feeling love and appreciation through intimacy and closeness.
Gifts: Feeling love by receiving gifts.

Words of affirmation: Feeling love and appreciation from compliments and reminders that you are worthy of another person’s love.

Why is it Important for Interracial Couples?

One of the difficulties of mixed race relationships is feeling the constant need to fit a specific mold in terms of your love. Interracial couples often struggle with their own identity. They want to be accepted and therefore continue to try to be like those around them who may be in same race relationships. Too often struggles come from a loss of identity in these relationships. Love languages help us stay connected to ourselves. It’s important to remember that love can look differently for every single individual. Some people actively seek out that epic, World Series kind of love. Others are content having something that feels like true companionship. As you struggle with your identity in your relationship and balancing the difference between what you want and need with what you think you should want and need, love languages become important. Couples who embrace the concept of love languages early on in their relationship, learn what their partners is, and effectively cater to it are significantly more successful than those who do not.

The world can be hard enough on a mixed race relationship. This simple tool creates the right platform for open communication about your wants and needs in all aspects of your life together. With a little bit of communication effort, it can help you build a strong foundation for the love and life of your dreams.

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