Interracial Dating Views Online

I recently participated in a very interesting personal study for my own interests. I clearly write about interracial dating on multiple levels as a writer, so sometimes I like to go out of my way to see what the world of interracial perspectives are beyond my sphere. This led me to sign up for a very common, widely used dating service. One of the matching criteria is a question based solely on race, and in lieu, interracial dating. The question was posted as this,

“Would you strongly prefer to date somebody of your own race?”

Answers:

“Yes”
“No”
“Indifferent”

And then there was an area to say how important this factor was in a potential match ranging from “irrelevant”, to “mandatory”.

Just to make a point of this question's impact on my “matches” I went to see how I compared to the vastly open field of potential dates beforehand and then compared them after I had answered that I would strongly prefer to not date someone of my own race, and would want a match to think the same way. Before my matches ranked anywhere from 80%-90%, and after answering they dropped to 60%-70%. This simply means that a massive portion of the potential public was highly contrasted to the acceptance of interracial relationships. This is not only personally disturbing from a minority standpoint, but goes to show how niche of an area interracial relationships are regardless of their increased frequency and portrayal in media outlets.

Interracial dating is something that either people seem interested in, or they have preconceived ideas of wanting to specifically avoid it. I'm sure there are people who are converted from one side to the other in between there, but the lack of willingness in my own personal experience on this “mainstream” dating site showed that if you seek an interracial relationship foremost, you should look into venues where this is the theme. Otherwise you might be fishing in a pond where the fish are simply not interested in biting, regardless of you as a person.

It's sad that potential dates and mates are reduced to denying people based on their looks and ethnicity, but it would be silly to deny the frequency of this type of thing happening. Seeking out online relationships, or finding personal relationships through online sources is very modern and commonplace, but finding an interracial relationship seemingly should be done on sites where that is the main concentration.

Canadian vs North American Views on Interracial Dating

I recently had the pleasure of traveling to Canada. As one half of an interracial couple, Canada is always an amazing place to go because of the public acceptance and frequency of occurrence of interracial relationships. Whether it is black and white, or asian and white or even middle eastern to black, Canada is brimming with relationships that are of mixed races. Compared to many areas in the United States this is a haven for someone like myself. It's not necessarily that I feel outwardly confronted or judged verbally by people in the United States, but there are always those situations where you find yourself catching that person giving you and your partner that extra long, dirty glance. It's rude, embarrassing, and downright undeserved. Simply because of how common interracial relationships are in Canada this rarely ever happens to me while I'm there.

I don't even know exactly why that is what it is. Canada seems, for some reason or another, like a perfect amalgamation of public acceptance for otherwise frowned upon groups in the United States. It is the much more liberal neighbor to the north, and interracial dating is just another aspect of life that they seem to not have any qualms with.

It is the most noticeable when you roam the streets of a major city in Canada. I was in Toronto this past week and we went to a few very popular shopping districts where people of all ages were gathered in large amounts. The diversity of dating couples was remarkable. There were mixed race couples holding hands, kissing, and hugging in broad daylight without a care in the world. If an interracial dating proponent like myself saw this scene they would surely think of it as a utopia.

This is vastly contrasting to how many areas in the United States see open relationships in public among people of different races. I have been to places in the more conservative parts of the United States where racism is sadly not only still a factor, but the idea and practice of openly interracial couples is such a sight for sore eyes that it is simply an unspoken law that you don't do that kind of thing in public. That is obviously a very specific extreme and far from the norm anywhere you will go in the United States, and I'm sure there are places where you would see that in Canada too.

The message I'm trying to make here isn't that the United States is filled with racists and Canada is the promised land for interracial relationships. There are people and regions in every corner of the world that will both accept and reject interracial relationships being openly shown. Just as I had a great experience in the Toronto, Canada area this past week, I have also had similarly eye opening times spent in regions of the United States such as San Francisco and Los Angeles. It seems somewhat based on region, but more so based on the political sphere, age, and immigrant ratio of geographic areas. The areas such as California and Canada have very politically liberal views on life, a younger mean population, and a plethora of overseas immigrants. With all of these factors, the environment is ripe for the growth of interracial love.

Have a Tough Skin

I recently moved from a relatively large city to the hometown of my girlfriend. Nothing has been more of a wake up call on the different views of interracial dating than this. As I've mentioned before, but will mention again, I am of mixed Asian and white race and my girlfriend is completely white. In the city we lived in it wasn't too crazy. There were white and black mixed couples a few Indian and white or hispanic and white couples, but the vast majority were of the same race. It was never anything too special or noticeable, and I usually got more looks from Asians that were seemingly judgmental than I did anyone else. The bottom line was, in the city we lived in it was never really made out to be a big deal. Everyone kind of just minded their own business and went their own way.

Then we moved to my girlfriend's town.

This town is incredibly small, lots of farm country, and the people who live here have mostly lived here for generations. The make up of the town is, no exaggeration, probably around over 98% white. There was no other Asian family in the town until one moved in and opened up a Chinese takeout restaurant. Trying to break stereotypes right? 

Anyway, so we moved there. It was fine at first. I hated having to drive an hour to get to any real grocery store, but we made it work. Her family is all incredibly nice so I never really thought anything of it. Then it happened. I was walking into a grocery store in her small town when someone randomly yelled a racial slur at me. I was dumbfounded. Was I mistakenly in a time machine to the deep south? What did I do to deserve this? That was just the beginning. Later we were holding hands in line at another store to which a random old lady said, “... what you guys are doing is disgusting. Stick to your own kind”. After I picked my jaw up from the floor I think we both realized we had to move. I'm not saying everyone in the town was a closed minded racist, but there were more here than I had ever experienced in my life.

So we just got done moving today. We moved back to an area near where I'm from this time where the people aren't quite as bad. It's a start, but the moral of the story is you need to have a tough skin in the real world of interracial dating. Not everyone is as accepting and open minded as they should be, but love is what comes first. Make yourself and your partner happy. Meeting people online who like what you like is the newest most popular way to meet your partner, and with interracial love it can be just that much easier.

                                                                          By Mark

Interracial Dating Among Church Goers of Same Race Less Likely to Interracial Date

The debate of whether love is taught or inside us all along has had an interesting addition recently. Church has long been known to be one of the most segregated areas in our modern culture. With churches either being set up for whites or blacks, the insides of these religious institutions on a Sunday morning could easily harken back to a time in the segregated southern United States. There was recently a study done by David Briggs of the Association of Religion Data Archives who found that church goers who attend churches with few members of other races are much less likely to participate in a relationship with a person of another race. 

Although simply a correlation with no real causation, it can be wondered if the association of these two factors means that being raised around people of one race makes you less likely to want an interracial relationship in your own life. It seems like an obvious conclusion to draw, but then that would mean ultimately with the world getting more and more integrated that people will eventually all be open to interracial relationships. The melting pot of the centers of our world are spilling over into the smaller towns, media, and the news in such a way that everyone, everywhere has crushes or thoughts about someone of another race these days in modern society. 

Another interesting aspect to this research was this: in Catholicism, 50% of those who attend church rarely or never, have dated someone of another race, whereas only 25% of those who attend church regularly have dated someone of another race. This shows another instance of the same statistic.

I think the coincidence of less interracial relationships with people who attend mostly segregated churches would most likely only stem from a lack of exposure, and to a much lesser extent bigotry taught from their more elderly relatives, not any aspect of the religion itself. As a matter of fact, it has ben shown in another famous study that those who study the Bible more often are more likely to be open to interracial relationships. Maybe it is simply the social culture of a segregated church environment that contributes to these factors. Religion after all does teach people to love and be open to everyone. 

Celebrity Interracial Dating: Rapper, Eve and her White Boyfriend

It's one thing wanting to pursue an interracial relationship in your private life as a regular, everyday person, and an entirely different thing altogether to want to do that while being one of the most notoriously “hard” and outspoken female rappers. Eve recently opened up about this big change in her life and allowed some questions which were very interesting for anyone that's curious about interracial dating.

One aspect of the whole situation that is worth noting is that this is Eve's first white boyfriend, and this is his first black girlfriend. This means that both of them are new to the interracial dating world and had previously only dated people of their own ethnic backgrounds. This just goes to show how people can't control who they like, who they fall in love with, and who they want to date.

Eve goes into detail about how the public and even her family have given her trouble for deciding to be in a relationship white a white man. It's shocking that in today's world, in 2013, with a black president we still have these kinds of problems with people's own decisions in their private lives. It shouldn't matter to anyone but the two people in the relationship about what they choose to do with their love lives.

One specific comment that was interesting was people saying that he “sold out” from her roots and her hardcore rap days. This is especially disturbing because it goes to how how people are holding her on a pedestal to be judged against their views of her and where they think she should go rather than letting her enjoy her own love life. How low is that?

Eve is putting all of these racial dating stereotypes on blast except for when she made a specific remar about how her white boyfriend is a terrible dancer. I guess that subtle nudge was necessary for an otherwise picture perfect interracial stereotyped couple.

It was good to hear Eve voice that her family is coming to terms and becoming accepting in their own way, even though it took several years. I hope that Eve's relationship being in the public eye will serve to somewhat unite the idea of interracial relationships in the way that they should be. Hopefully, seeing her succeed and be happy will show others that it's ok to pursue love interests no matter what other people think or say. Love is love and doing what you want and what you feel is right should be the only factor.

                                                                        By Mark

Interracial Dating Views Across Generations

I'm 23 years old, and I think interracial dating is completely normal and acceptable. There's nothing wrong with two people of any race black, white, asian being together. In my parents generation, those who are around 50 or so, interracial dating was something that was usually quite taboo. They were just coming out of the segregation era as they were born or growing up and many of their parents still harbored ill will towards other races simply based off of societal norms.

I am suggesting that there is some sort of social evolution that takes place. Over time, people grow to learn that interracial dating, interracial love and interracial marriages are no different than any other form of those categories among people of the same race. This evolution takes place by the mental acceptance of these practices becoming less and less restrictive as generations pass on. It may not be as much of an evolution as much as it is a desensitization. Each generation more and more interracial couples come about. In the 1950s there were very few and by the 70s there were many more. In our modern day of the 2000s there are interracial couples all over the place. The stigma is being removed and the acceptance is gaining huge ground among those actively participating in these interracial relationships.

In the United States and Canada interracial relationships are completely accepted by most of the public since the two countries have extensively been exposed and opened up to heavy immigration. As more and more countries follow suit, inevitably they will come around in the same way. Just as our parents are accepting of interracial relationships heavily based upon what their parents brought them up thinking about it, our children will be more accepting simply because they will be raised in an environment of acceptance.

As each new generation grows up in a world where interracial children are everywhere, people will see how normal it is. It won't be a fad, a fashion statement or a commentary on social status, it will simply be the way of life.

This cross generational growing acceptance of interracial relationships is a great sign. It just goes to show that people are open to positive change. If you live in a country where people still think of interracial relationships as taboo and unnatural or gross, give them time. Eventually they will be forced to come around. The world is growing in a much better, and more accepting direction. There is nowhere on Earth that will be immune to the direction our world is going for social integration.

By Mark